One time I met a guy at a bar and gave him my number. The next day he asked if I remembered what he looked like.
“Duh!” I said.
The guy then sends me a picture of 3 guys and asked me which one was him. I was 110% sure I knew once I saw the picture.
I confidently said “THE ONLY CUTE ONE. The one in the middle!”I picked the wrong one guys….I picked the wrong one.
I swear someone just asked for the manager because she thought she got everything in the row for the price listed…
So, someone had stolen one of our kids bikes. Well, the mother of the child was at a store right next to our property and she saw a teenager riding it. She went up to him and said
Her- “Hey, that’s my sons bike.”
Him- “Oh…I’m sorry. My friend stole it.”
Her- “Whatever, I don’t really care. Just give me the bike.”
Him- “But how will I get back home?”
Her- “That’s not really my problem.”
Him- “Can you give me a ride?”
Her- “Um no.”
Him- “How bout I ride the bike home and I promise I’ll bring it back to you tomorrow?”
Her- “No. I’m not going to let you borrow the bike that you stole from my child dude. 😑😑😑”
(Guessing on the faces there)
Someone come get your teenager that’s asking to borrow items he stole 😂
A resident came in and said “Girl you look like you’ve put on some weight.” Greaaaaaaaaaaaaatt thaaaaankkkssss. #evict
I’m not going to lie, having my childhood best friend text me asking “Didn’t we bury a time capsule in your moms back yard when we were little?” might be the most exciting thing to happen to me this far. Somewhere in my back yard are letters to us from the past and I’m going to find them! If you need me, I’ll be in the back yard digging with a spoon.
Dear Randos of Facebook,
If you could please do me a solid and stop posting pics of the dead frozen puppy that would be greaaaaaaaatttttt. In lieu of pictures of dead animals, if there is some frozen puppy fund you would like me to donate to, I will do that but that pic of the dead puppy is kind of killing my Friday vibe. Thaaankssss.
Just a simple girl who doesn’t like your depressing dead puppy pics.